Saturday, 19 March 2016

Some friendships are meant to last forever – some aren’t...

Friendship is part of our daily lives and I am very grateful for the friends I have. I have some really close ones here and then some other close ones I have met through blogging. The blogging community is great and I have met a lot of wonderful people through it. It was great meeting some of them already and hopefully more in the future.

I have had a best friend in primary and secondary school, we kind of lost touch when I went to high school and she didn’t. She lived quiet close and we did everything together. In my last year of high school we got closer again and she became my best friend again. Then I went to Vancouver for 5 months and when I came back she had some good and bad news for me. The good news: she has a boyfriend. I met him soon after and was really happy for her. The bad news: She was diagnosed with a rare disease, something to to with her DNA. Her two siblings have it as well. They are only 3 of 8 people in Switzerland with that illness. Luckily for her, it was diagnosed pretty early and it can be slowed down with medication. I don’t want to and can’t get into more details of the disease here, but let me just tell you that it was a BIG SHOCK. I stood by her side and didn’t turn my back on her and her family, many people did though.

I was always there for her, listening and more. We did a lot of things together and talked daily. That changed more and more though, because I got annoyed with her behaviour. Whenever we were in the bus, she would gossip loudly about people from our village for example. I couldn’t get her to stop, so I just sat there and didn’t say anything. When she texted me, she expected an answer almost immediately, not thinking about where I might be. Most of the time I was teaching or at uni, so couldn’t answer right away. So she always texted me again, saying things like: “Why are you not answering?” “You never have time for me” or “Why are you not texting me anymore?” This increased more and more and I never knew, if it was because of her illness or just her behaviour in general. I was always glad when I was able to say goodbye to her and felt that it was a waste of my time spending it with her. It was always only about her, I was never able to tell her what was going on in my life. I was grateful then, for everyone else I had in my life; my family, my friends and also my online friends. I told them all and also said that I would feel bad to just end the friendship. Talking to them opened my eyes, it was time to finally think about myself and do what is good for me. So I slowly stopped texting her and meeting up with her. Now, we are not in contact anymore and I’m happy.

Looking back to it now, makes me not regret that decision at all. When she realised that I was reading a lot, she asked if I have a boyfriend and read books with him. So unlogical… Lots of things she said never made sense. I was not able to talk to her properly and get in deeper, which is a pity, in a friendship. It was always difficult to deal with her family. Everyone else was always doing things wrong, never them. When she wasn’t able to get into my high school, it was the school’s fault, not her grades. Weirdly enough though: they were always so positive about the school, before that happened. I could go on and on now, but I don’t want to bore you.

I learned a lot with this friendship. As I said, it’s still the most important thing that YOU feel happy and comfortable. If that is not the case, something has to change. It might not be easy and you have to learn to let go, but in the end it’s better. Some friendship might only be there for a few years and then you have other friends who are in your life for much longer. It’s natural and only human. If you don’t get along anymore and you have tried to change it, don’t waste your energy on it. Use your energy to build new friendships and meet new people. Some friendship aren’t meant to be! Focus on your real friends!!!

1 comment:

  1. I can relate to this one as I have had a similar thing happen which I won't go into detail about, I think what is hard is that you have to come to terms with the fact that you are not being harsh but that you need to do what is best for you and toxic friendships are not good for you.
    I am glad that you are much happier now and that you are focusing on the best people in your life. x