Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Silence doesn’t always have to be awkward

Don’t we know it all, the moment of awkward silence during a conversation. They tend to happen on dates, but not only then it can also happen with certain friends, especially if you don’t have anything in common and nothing to talk about. It’s natural, we can’t see eye to eye with everyone and we have different interests. A friendship or relationship can still be deep in certain cases, but not always.

Well, anyway, I’m actually writing this post for the opposite reason. There are moments in a conversation, where silence happens and sometimes it’s a good thing and it can mean different things.

It can just be a natural break, where both people take a moment to think about what was sad, or maybe a memory comes up, there could be so many reasons. It’s not that you don’t know what to say next or you don’t know what to talk about, it’s just a natural pause in between.

With certain people in my life (my mum and my closest friends) sometimes words are not needed. It’s like a blind understanding, you think the same thing and you can finish each other’s sentences. That can also happen with a partner of course.

Yes, most awkward silences might happen with a stranger, but that doesn’t always have to be the case. And even with a stranger temporary silence is a normal part of conversational rhythm. It’s us human being how actually make it a big issue. Sometimes we are thinking about it too much and that’s what makes it all weird and uncomfortable. We should just stop worrying too much and focus on the actual conversation.

Silence can have the total opposite effect on a situation. It can show a beautiful moment of romance, intimacy and chemistry, where no words are needed.

When you’re with anew friend or partner silence is normal, you can’t expect every single minute to be filled with conversation. Sometimes we don’t have to say anything for a few moments, but there is nothing bad about it. I always think about going on a walk with whoever, you might just enjoy the moment, that could also be the case when your enjoying a sunset, the view or other things.

Shy people tend to have moments like this more often, but they just need more time. I have moments when I’m shy as well (especially with men), but I learned to deal with them.
The worst thing to actually say to an introverted and shy person is that they are quiet. I was like that as a child and always struggled when people said that. It’s the same to be told that or thin or fat and it doesn’t help the situation at all. I have changed a lot and learn a lot with different experiences. The most important think in my eyes is to accept people the way they are and make them feel comfortable, the same goes with silences!

So, all in all I think that silences are normal and they are not awkward at all, we make them awkward!

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